Where in the hell is my housekeeper?

Friday…my day off work. Husband is at work…kids are at school…and I get the day all to myself. In a perfect world my husband would let me hire a housekeeper so I could partake in all of the activities I can’t do while my kids are home. You know, those activities like sleeping, watching a television show without interruption (seriously, it took me 3 days to get through one 40 minute episode), or catching up with an old friend. Ahhh, a housekeeper…

The reality is that I spend my day off catching up on my housework. I’m finally getting around to cleaning out my freezer, mopping under the fridge, folding laundry, or any other job I’ve put off all week.

Friday is my husband’s day to get the kids off to school. Usually I spend time the night before getting lunches ready so all he really has to do is make sure they get clothes on and walk to the bus. I have a pretty great husband, I know. Since he lets me lay in bed for an extra hour on Friday (yes, I said lay; not sleep) I am not allowed to complain about the outfits my children are wearing when they arrive home. It’s a small price to pay for a morning free of chaos.

Each week I challenge myself to get a specific number or list of chores finished before the kids get home from school. When I first started my challenge I aimed big. I would everything I needed to do then set my goal at 100% completion. I failed every single time. Then I remembered that I was the one who made the challenge, made the list, and set the goal. I could make the goal whatever I felt like making it. Now I aim to get 3 things finished on my list. The next week I hit my goal. The week after I didn’t.

The week I didn’t hit my goal I was pretty mad at myself. At first I couldn’t figure out why I was so mad, but then it hit me. I don’t like to fail. My resume says “Signed 250% of yearly sales goal within first 6 months of employment with X company.” How is it that I can’t manage to complete the simple task of chores, but I can convince clients to give me 250% more money than my employer wants? I get super competitive when someone challenges me. Even when that someone is myself.  I get why I beat myself up over not reaching a goal at work–my paycheck looks a little crappy, but I can’t wrap my head around why I get so mad at myself when I fall short of a goal at home. It’s not like my house will burn down if I don’t mop under the fridge this week (it won’t right?).

I’m learning to just live with my at home failures. I don’t have mold growing rampant in my kitchen or bathroom…yet. In fact, last week my kids saw me scrubbing down the back splash in my kitchen and asked, “Why does it have to be perfect? In an hour you’re going to fix dinner and splash sauce on it, say bad words, then break out the bottle of wine. Why not wipe it down after you cook dinner?” You’re right kid! What difference does it make if I wipe down the wall now or tonight when the day is done? If a friend stops by and doesn’t like it then screw them.

Friday…still my day off. Still don’t have a housekeeper. Still failing at keeping a perfectly clean house, but now I don’t care as much.